mike brown
Mike Brown: The Liquor Store!
For SLUG’s Distillery Issue, I’m guiding our loyal, drunk readers on how to best navigate through the liquor store, and revealing the best deals. Since I pretty much just drink Jim Beam and it’s been on sale lately, I’ll start by suggesting that. I’ll do my best to guide you through the alcoholic apocalypse, but for the
Mike Brown: How I Broke into the Wild World of...
My friend Laura Kiechle always seems to be happy about her job. Me, on the other hand, I almost always hate my jobs. I think it’s natural to always hate your job because if you don’t, how do you enjoy your time off? People who love their jobs must hate their days off. I, on
Mike Brown: Wet Goddess
Over the years of having the privilege and headache of writing for SLUG, I have conducted several interviews. It’s always an interesting process. It’s not like writing an opinion piece where I just get to talk some shit for 900 words about whatever I want. With an interview, you never know what you are going
Mike Brown: Rose Park Life
I recently moved away from the comfort and convenience of living Downtown to the Rose Park area, which is happily located north and west of Downtown. Most of my grown-up friends who aren’t total alcoholics and have managed to maintain a decent credit score and somehow pay off their student loans have bought houses out
Mike Brown: Miss Utah!!!
A few weeks ago, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing the current Miss Utah. The last time I interacted with a pageant queen was when I was asked to show a former Miss Utah how to skateboard on the live morning local newscast. Needless to say, she ended up eating street on live TV
Mike Brown: The Beer Garden
Apparently, just like actual SLUG readers, IRL slugs are attracted to the sugar in the beer—but they drink too much, get drunk and drown in the beer.
Mike Brown: Craft Cocktailing
Mike Brown: My Name is Mike Brown
My name is Mike Brown. It is a plain and boring name. When my parents were initially going to name me, they wanted to name me Matt but decided that was too common of a name. True story.
Mike Brown: Quitting Smoking
Kurt Vonnegut once said that smoking is the only honorable form of suicide. I suppose that opinion is debatable, but then so is bacon, chocolate and Mormonism. Cigs give you cancer, bacon gives you heart attacks, chocolate gives you diabetes, and Mormonism will bore you to death. And if death is inevitable, then doesn’t that mean that we all are just committing suicide a tiny bit each and every day somehow?
Mike Brown: My Favorite Presidents
This month, I’ve chosen to write about those great men that lead our great country and how they are all great and stuff. These fine men adorn our currency and fuck with it when they are in office. They sometimes act like assholes and are easy targets for everyone to hate, but probably have one of the easiest jobs in the world because other assholes are making the real decisions and doing their job for them.