mike brown
Mike Brown: Soccer, Beer and Piss Bombs—Kickin’ It with Nick...
According to my drunk friend, Danny, who is an RSL season ticket holder and sometimes takes me to games, Nick is “like, the best dude ever!” So I figured I’d better interview him. … read more
Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Fashion Week!
Good thing I’m constantly neck deep in runway model pussy, so hooking up an interview with a Vogue (Australia) cover model to discuss fashion and Fashion Week (going on this month in NYC) was no problem. … read more
Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: House Party!
I’m not a big fan of house parties these days—I prefer my drinking on the idle comfort of a barstool or in the cozy confines of my couch. Maybe that’s why I usually end up acting like such a jackass when I go to a house party. … read more
Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Yer Out of Here! Kicked Out...
The whole time I’ve been part of the Fucktards, we have never had to kick anyone out. Sure, dudes have quit, but I’ve never had to drop the axe. I suppose getting kicked out of the Fucktards would be like flunking special ed: very improbable and more embarrassing than being in my band in the first place. … read more
Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Jazz Nation Predictions
If you know me at all, you know it’s safe to say I’m somewhat of a narcissist and only truly care about three things in life: my cat Jet Pack, free drinks and the Utah Jazz. … read more
Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Jet Pack Meets Patty The Psychic
Jet Pack’s birthday is this month, so I thought it would be cool to get him a pet psychic reading to see what he would like for his birthday, and pick his brain about some other things, like why he’s been barfing so much lately and where he poops. … read more
Mike Brown: High School
The leaves are changing, the temperature is dropping and another glorious, globally warmed summer is over. September is here, and if you aren’t already cutting class by the time you read this, you should be. … read more
Mike Brown: Busking a Nut
Do you know what busking is? If you are a regular to reading my column, I’m guessing you are too drunk or lazy to Google it, so allow me to do that for you. According to the app on my robot phone, to busk is to entertain by dancing, singing or reciting on the street or in a public place. It’s a goddamn street performance. … read more
Mike Brown: The Year of the Gun, Goin’ In Hot!
After years of refusing to hold a firearm, I changed my mind a few weeks ago and decided to go to the desert and shoot the shit out of a banana with various assault weapons. … read more
Mike Brown: The Mustang Experience
After driving a souped-up Mustang GT around the racetrack at the Larry Miller Motorsports Park last week, I should have said I wanted to be a goddamn racecar driver. … read more