Black Cum
The Return of Black Jesus
Self-Released
Street: 03.08
Black Cum = G.G. Allin + The Germs +  cKy
According to the Black Cum “manifesto,” they don’t write songs, practice or do second takes—they just get fucked up, press record and play. I’ll give them props for apparently adhering to these self-imposed rules. This double-cassette release (with a nifty little patch included) is an…interesting listen, but I don’t exactly get the feeling they give too much of a fuck what some old, washed-up hack like me thinks about their releases. The song titles are hilarious, and the cassettes themselves are surprisingly entertaining, although I highly doubt I’ll ever actually listen to them again. It would be somewhat pointless to even attempt to describe their music, but in the interest of an actual review: They pull in elements of shitty punk rock, ghetto blaster-recorded black metal, hardcore, rap and pretty terrible musicianship. More power to you, kids. Hopefully, this is exactly what will be playing when Black Jesus returns.