Product Reviews

LUSH

Spring 2014

lushusa.com

Godiva & Seanik Shampoo Bars: My shampoo expectations are pretty low: I usually go for whatever smells good and is less than $5, ’cause my experience with the “organic” types is that they come in small bottles, for five times the price, and they don’t foam up—I mean, isn’t like, the Number Two reason why we all shower so we can temporarily mohawk our hair with soap? I didn’t even know that shampoo bars existed until these things showed up in the mail. They look like thick sesame crackers in bright colors—something Willy Wonka might try to trick the Umpa Lumpa’s into eating as a health supplement—and I was just as skeptical. I stuck ’em in the shower without reading the directions, and stood there looking at it for a minute until I decided to rub my head with it to see what would happen … FOAM! In fact, just a couple of head rubs and I was able to give myself the best shampoo mohawk of my life—too bad I’m not at the shower #selfie stage. Yet. I wash my hair every two to three days, and this bar is only a little bit smaller after a month of use. And, of course, it’s a LUSH product, so you don’t even need to check the label to know that no one’s testing the shampoo’s mohawking capabilities on cute lil’ monkeys in cages—though I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing photos of that with volunteer monkeys … Oh, and it’s full of healthy, natural ingredients that make your hair soft and shiny to boot! Shampoo bars are the way of the future, get on that tip.

FUN: YES. (See photo of my bath sea monster.) There’s really not much more to say about this, other than proceeds from the sale of this genius moldable soap/shampoo go to support charities in Fukushima, Japan, that create safe places for kids to play! Every kid, big and small, needs this stuff.

Brightside Bubble Bar: OK, I’ll admit that I put this in my mouth before I dropped it in the tub—but it looks like candy! Fortunately I’m not gonna die or anything ’cause this baby’s made of safe synthetics and natural ingredients, including mandarin and tangerine oil. It’s possible I used it wrong (I dunno, was I supposed to drop the whole thing in?), but the “bubble” part of the bar never happened, it just kind of sat at the bottom of the tub. However, when I broke it up, it turned my bath water completely orange and released a fruity scent that made me feel like I was bathing in Tang. How awesome is that?! If bath time devolves you into a 5-year-old like it does me, then it’s pretty fucking rad. I’ve gotta admit that this Spring 2014 line of LUSH products is my favorite so far—I’ve never had so much fun in the bathtub, and I’m like, totally old enough to have sex now, so …