Après-Ski Power Rankings

You pay a king’s ransom for a lift ticket, then fight traffic up a mountain, nearly kill yourself for parking and your reward? Four–five hours of cold snow, moderate exercise, bratty, asshole kids and a sunburn. I’ve never been much of a skier, but nobody does après-ski better than me. Here are the “Après-Ski Power Rankings,” because you shred hard and party harder, bossman.

Trending Down: The Big Baller Après-Ski

The brand new Solomons are locked in the Yakima rack on the Range Rover, you’re famished and Alta Lodge is serving the meatloaf. Luckily, there’s an awesome sushi spot just off the mountain at The Happy Sumo. Don’t pair this choice with any old Japanese beer. Get a couple of Hitachino Nest Pirikas, a dram of Yamazaki single malt and a bottle of Diamond sake to pair with that $20 Toro hand roll. That’s baller.

Trending Up: The Cheapskate Après-Ski

Let’s face it—our dollar isn’t going as far as it used to, and that means “après-on-a-budget.” Don’t settle for some nasty sandwiches! Pack yourself a tight-ass charcuterie board. Hit up Caputo’s for double-cream brie, drunken goat cheese and a thing of Creminelli Tartufo sausage. Back that up with a four-pack of Granary Keller Bier from our friends at TF Brewing. Thanks a lot, Biden.

Trending Slightly Down: The Show-Off Après-Ski

The in-laws are in town and it’s time to show them that moving to the Wasatch Front was the right move. After shelling out for lift tickets, the Discover card still isn’t maxed out. The move here is to hit up a local distillery after some hot turns. Get two taster flights for the table and Old Fashioneds made with your favorite brown liquor. Remember that charcuterie board from before? Get something like that but with little pickles for $55. High West in Park City is damn impressive. Bonus points for hitting up Eight Settlers and getting the bone marrow appetizer with your $16 drinks—you fucking show-off.

Trending Way, Way Up: Nachos

Hands-down the best après-ski treat in the world is a big, nasty plate of nachos. I’m not even kidding when I say that I spent $60 on nachos after falling down Whistler. Get the nachos, get a pitcher of Bohemian Brewing’s Cherny Bock and lie about that last sick run where you totally got air on that wicked jump. Nacho Mama’s downtown has the craziest selection with amazing toppings. The Porcupine has basic nachos but the best patio around. Choose what suits you, bro-ham.