Ring Rats Anonymous: UCW-Zero TV Taping @ UCW Arena 04.05

Fresh from intermission and with Josh Damien holding down ring announcing duties (why do we all hate this guy? He’s great!), we were off to the races with Jayson Bravo arguing with crowd members and Graves flexing a sweet Danzig bicep tattoo. Bravo spent the majority of the match rolling out of the ring and exhibiting general misconduct toward everyone. Sierra plied her various wares as well, interfering here and there and essentially annoying everyone. Though Graves had a decent rally going, she managed to sully it at every turn, which ultimately led to Bravo taking home the strap. Ugh.

 

Lots to talk about here, and since my notes are a total clusterfuck it means, I was scribbling a storm. Kade (remember, he’s not a "kid" anymore) came with his foot in a cast (yeah, primo foreign-object material). While we can always count on Bronson making jokes that don’t land and using dubious strategies to win, we’re a little less accustomed to seeing Junior X losing his cool on the sidelines, but it was probably my favorite part of the match. Chair shot? Yes please. While ref was kept busy handing out DQ certificates like Manhattan comedy club flyers, Los Mochis Paco kept the win and the 801 District maintains the reign.

 

Rocky Ocean is a newer face on the scene (maybe you’ve seen him on camera duty?), but after doing his best to torture Lacey Ryan in an arm bar and basically rendering no effect, he had to have been re-evaluating his strategy a bit, maybe cheating where he could. We all know that Ryan’s got the best moves in UCW-Zero … so when she lost? Yeah, you’d better believe she was angry about it. I’m not going to point fingers here, but heel Lacey is a sight to behold. You know anyone who’ll straight-up bash her boss across the face with a chair, who needs three full-grown refs to hold her back, who has to be escorted from the arena in handcuffs (OK, maybe I made up the last one)—? Not since Austin v. McMahon, you haven’t. Great shit. Peep the flick for full-color glory. 

 

The most exciting heavyweight storyline we’ve seen to date, and it just keeps getting sicker. The two are so evenly matched, I sound like a moron explaining it. Luckily, these pictures give you a good indication of the talent level here. Won’t give it away, but check out the Youtube show for the final outcome. Brace yourself for exclusive interviews with BOTH competitors, coming soon!

 

A Wrestlemania XXII to those who came, and a WCW Spring Stampede ’97 to those who didn’t. Stop just pretending you’re a wrestling fan and commit already! Roll out for the next taping on April 19 at the UCW arena (47 S. Orange St.). Follow UCW-Zero on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to their YouTube channel. Finally (and then I’m done yammering), remember that nothing really happens until the bad guy shows up. Stay heel.

 

Also, I’d be remiss to not mention this: condolences to the family of one Ultimate Warrior. Rest in peace brother. Hoping you, Rick Rude and Randy Savage are cutting shoots on Hogan for his "Silverdome" botch. *Shakes ropes*